this tweet haunts me
True story - There are historical accounts (well, there’s at least one historical account) in which English people whine about how the Norse men bathe so often they’re able to seduce the local women away from their husbands.
^^^ Yep. Turns out the women were way more into the hot well groomed muscular dudes who liked to smell nice.
*Hot, well groomed men who liked to smell nice and knew their way around sharp objects.
“I just don’t know why you couldn’t marry a local boy sweetie.”
“What can I say dad, Hjalmar bathes regularly, smells nice, has shoulders, can wield a sword and can wield his sword ifyaknowwhatImean, and when he comes back from raids likes to shower me in rare gifts from overseas. Look at this necklace! The amber beads came from the lands of the Rus! Also, he’s teaching me how to shoot a bow and use a spear because he thinks it might be nice if I could go on raids too someday.”
I mean, frankly, if I wasn’t already married, I would marry Hjalmar, too.
PREACH
Let’s be real. If little girls’ knees, shoulders, and clavicles are a problem for male teachers, you don’t have a dress code issue. You have a pedophile issue.
Y. E. S.
Seriously though.
If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise
i beg to differ
Then Beg
The only thing that’d be more potentially embarrassing than my internet history would be my calculator history, a chronicle of all the painfully simple math I couldn’t manage to do in my head.
